Mother’s Day is next Sunday. For mom’s who are incarcerated, that has to be incredibly hard. I have talked to people who have relayed stories of mother’s giving birth while incarcerated and having to go back to prison while their baby is taken elsewhere, maybe with a loved one or foster care. I can’t even begin to imagine what that mom feels. I know it happens more often that one cares to imagine. Then there are all the moms who only see their children at visitations.

Being a mom from a distance is not easy. Conveying the love felt for them is difficult. Kids can’t always understand why mom is gone, why she can’t come to games, programs, birthday parties, etc. Even when mom is on parole, many times she can’t attend any of those things. It can feel to the child(ren) like mom doesn’t want to come, doesn’t care.

The caregiver can help with assuring the children of her love, and desire to be there. She can also help in relaying messages, sharing memories of times before incarceration, allowing the children to express their feelings, helping them write messages, etc. Phone calls, emails, and letters can help to create, strengthen and encourage the bond. One has to use wisdom in knowing if there are times that isn’t healthy for the children, but for the most part the unhealthy times are most likely the exception.

It is not easy for parents and children to be separated… on either side. But when loving caregivers are sensitive to the situation and are willing to go the extra mile, the benefit is huge. If you are a caregiver… whether the dad, grandparent, or other person stepping in for now, may you have a great amount of wisdom in dealing with both sides. It is not easy to deal with the anger, loneliness, sense of abandonment, etc. Your responsibility is great, and you are appreciated.

Moms, may your relationship with your children come out stronger and healthier than ever. You have such an important role in your children’s lives. They need you in so many ways….